Volkner's Tiring Day of Gym Challengers
by dassBeta
Summary: Full title: Volkner's Tiring Day of Gym Challengers and Encounters with Various People. Volkner's day isn't going well: only weak trainers challenge him and people come to bother him for reasons unrelated to his gym. Volkner's sanity is really on the line here!


**Volkner's Tiring Day of Gym Challengers and Encounters with Various People**

"No, this is not Sunyshore City's Pizza Hut!" Volkner screamed hysterically, kicking out the goup of tourists who had for some unfathomable reason confused his Gym for an equally famous structure. "Why is my day so weird? Why? WHY!?" he wailed.

When he had opened his Gym in the morning, the first challenger he accepted was someone called Youngster Joey. Claiming his top percentage Rattata could annihilate the Gym, he had been a pathectic challenger. Volkner was shaking his head.

"Go back to play with the Johto Gym Leaders," he had concluded. "I am Volkner! I need challenge!"

Next, he had faced even more embarrassing trainers.

"Why do you come to my Gym with a puny Bidoof?" he had roared to a frightened-looking schoolgirl, who explained it was her first Gym battle.

"Then go to face that loser, Roark, in Oreburgh! I am Volkner! I am strong!" For if there was one thing he hated, it was weak, boring challengers.

His frustration was clearly increasing, and he had to contain himself so that he didn't start tearing people to pieces. Weak challengers were one thing; people coming to his Gym for non-battle related reasons was even worse.

"Hi, I'm an insurance salesman," a man in thick glasses and a pinstripe suit started. Volkner slammed the door in front of him.

"Isn't this the new café?" another person inquired. Then there was someone who only came to the Gym in search of restroom.

"Go poop somewhere else!" Volkner growled unsympathetically.

He got hopeful when an Elite Four member from Unova named Shauntal arrived in his Gym. Unfortunately, she only wanted to interview him to get more material for her latest book. Out of his respect for strong trainers, he behaved himself and let Shauntal have her way, meaning that she bombarded him with more and more questions. When she left, it was already well past afternoon.

Grinding his teeth, Volkner thought, "Please let me face at least ONE decent challenger!"

He looked outside, and saw Gym Leader Jasmine from Johto at a distance. He quickly caught up with her. Jasmine, however, had no time for battles: she had come to Sinnoh to participate in a Super Contest.

"But maybe you could help, pretty please?" she asked shyly, almost trembling. Volkner consciously softened his expression, resulting in a comically bright smile. This encouraged Jasmine to continue her request.

"Can you help me dress up these Pokémon? I want to see how they look before the contest." She also wanted Volkner's fashion advice. This took them hours, meaning Volkner had even less time for gym battles.

After his encounter with Jasmine, he dragged himself back to the Gym, where he accepted a challenge from an ambitious Ace Trainer. This would have been a more satisfying match if Volkner, tired from all the yelling and helping that day, hadn't seriously derped; instead of sending out his strongest, hard-trained Pokémon, he instead battled with a few really low-level Pokémon he had recently caught. The Ace Trainer sneered at him, calling him "Puny Volkner" before departing with her just-earned badge.

"Great, now I gotta get these guys healed in a Pokémon Center ASAP..." Volkner mumbled, facepalming at his lack of judgment.

After he was finally back at the Gym, he faced one more challenger.

"You'll make the first move," Volkner beckoned, receiving a karate chop to the stomach from the challenger. Getting back at his feet, the Gym Leader angrily panted,

"WHAT THE #.¤#" WAS THAT!?"

"Oh, isn't this the new martial arts dojo?" the challenger asked innocently.

"NO!" Volkner exploded with anger, chasing him out of the Gym.

There were no more challengers left that day; everyone else had unrelated queries ranging from Pizza Hut to the Sunyshore Lighthouse.

"No, this is the local bookstore!" he replied sarcastically to someone asking if it was the Sunyshore Library. Sighing after finally getting rid of everyone, Volkner collapsed into a sobbing heap.

"What's up with these people?" he moaned. "This doesn't even look like Pizza Hut or the Lighthouse! THIS IS MY GYM! I AM VOLKNER!"

He stepped out of the Gym for a break. Walking to a crossroads, he saw that the sign that pointed toward Sunyshore Gym had been scribbled with graffiti, saying things like "Pawnbroker's," "Police Department," or, worst of all, "Sunyshore Asylum." That was the last straw for Volkner: roaring like a madman, he ripped the sign from the ground (where it was firmly fastened), ran to the top of the lighthouse, and threw it down to the sea below. Cackling maniacally and startling everyone who saw him, he dashed back to his Gym, strangely elated. Though the day had been a mess, destroying the sign had lifted up his spirits considerably. He went to bed and fell asleep immediately, forgetting all about his misfortunes.


End file.
